Even with Dizzle gone a lot, I love him unconditionally. I've been reflecting on the past couple months on our marriage, and I have to say that I'm really happy. We haven't been able to do as much (or spend as much time) together as other newlyweds, but the time we do have, we don't take for granted. I've been wanting to share some of my thoughts and feelings on the past couple months, in that when the bible says "love is patient," it's definitely something to reflect on and look closely at. I can look at it a million times over, can go to many weddings that uses Corinthians, but none of it would mean much if we didn't put it into practice. I thought I knew what patience was already, I try to be as patient a person as possible because I feel more at peace when I am. But as time goes on I learn more and more about it (and yes, I still have the occasional road rage every now and then, but hey, we're all human lol).
I know Dizzle feels bad when he has to make me wait, or when he doesn't know when to get picked up (I like to take him to work when I can so that we have more time to talk and be goofy), or when he can't be here for a holiday. But it's not his fault, I know that, he knows that, so I never hold it against him. Because when he is here, he gives me his full attention (minus when we are playing videogames, but I love it all the same, and actually, I still find it a bonding time). We talk about everything that's bothering us, when we're happy, or we can be silent with each other and know that we just like to be in each others presence. There are many things we are still learning about each other, things we like, things we don't like (haha), and both of us have the fault of maybe not feeling like we're entertaining each other enough (which is untrue, but we both are guilty of wanting to making the other person really happy). But one thing's for sure, love is definitely patient. We both wish for certain things now (don't we all) but the journey to getting there is more important and fulfilling.
Right now, I wish to have a great girlfriend(s) down here, a permanent church (which is almost getting there), and a job. All those things, which are all loving things, take time. I'm meeting new girlfriends (who have been great and very welcoming), volunteering, looking for work, and have been attending different churches (which I call "church shopping", but I think I finally found one, hopefully). I know all these things, including marriage, take time. The effort one puts into it, the more reward you'll see in the end. But I have to remember that patience, is what will get me there. Not to say, that I don't have my days where I'm down on myself, or feel lonely. But I know I have friends and family who are patient with me as well. Being away from friends and family is not easy, which I'm sure is the same for them. I miss everyone. But I know, with all the time and effort that I've put in with them over the years, that they will love me still. Spiteful and resentful maybe (lol j/k)!
So as Lent gets closer, I like to reflect on things that can make my life better, maybe not easier, but so far I think I'm off to a good start :) I have a loving husband, a loving family, and loving friends. I know all great things take time, love takes time. But I know that with everything I do, I'll try to love it. For this is what we're taught, and I want to try put into practice all that I learn :)
